How do I know if it's too soon after my child's death to
attend?
No one can say
with certainty when is the right time to come to a meeting.
Sometimes family members come shortly after the child has
died while other times they wait longer. Some people who
attend shortly after the child's death may decide not to come back
until they're more ready. This is a personal
decision.
Do I need a reservation before I come to a
meeting?
No reservations
are needed. Just come whenever you feel up to
it.
If I go to a meeting, will I
have to talk?
No one is required to talk at any meeting. We understand how
difficult that can be when our grief is so fresh. We do ask that
you listen, however.
Is there a charge to
attend? There is
never a charge to attend a TCF meeting. Our chapters rely on
voluntary donations from members,
friends, and the community at large.
My child was an adult and didn't live at home. Can I still go to a
meeting?
Chapter meetings
are open to all families that have experienced the death of a
child, at any age, from any cause. Regardless of our child's age,
we in TCF believe our children will always be thought of as just
that . . . our children.
My spouse won't come with me. Can I come
alone?
Yes. We all
grieve differently and your spouse or significant other may not be
ready to take part just yet . . . or ever.
Do men attend meetings?
Yes. Many
chapters are divided almost evenly between men and women while
others are not. Men grieve, too, and are welcome to attend meetings
for support.
My child died from _____.
Will I still be welcome? Yes. All families that have experienced
the death of a child at any age, from any cause, are
welcome.
Religion doesn't matter to me anymore. Can people at a meeting
accept that?
The Compassionate Friends has no religious affiliation. You
will find TCF members are very tolerant of any views. After the
death of a child, many priorities, as well as values,
change.
I notice the meeting is
in a church. Do I have to belong to a church to
attend? While TCF has no religious affiliation,
chapter meetings are held in a wide variety of locations depending
upon what is available in our communities.
My child died seven years
ago, and I postponed my grief work. Now it's catching up with
me.
Is it too late to come now? We all grieve differently. Many parents
don't feel the need for a support group until years after the
death of a child. It's all right to come whenever you are ready,
whether it's soon after your child's death, months later, or years
later.
How long do people come
to meetings? People attend meetings until they no longer
feel a need. Some attend just a few meetings while others come for
years. Some are so thankful for the helpful support they've
received that they stay to help in chapter leadership so they can
be there for the next persons who walk through the doors seeking
help.
Why is it that TCF
recommends that I attend three meetings before deciding if
it's for
me?
Often, the first
meeting brings a lot of emotions to the surface and this may make
the first meeting difficult. Some say that they bring home the pain
of others after listening to their stories. Attending three
meetings gives you time enough to allow your emotions to even out
and to understand that in sharing there is
healing.
|